Bakersfield - Not my cup of Tea

 I drove 540 miles yesterday.  

The grandkids were down for a visit, and after a week of swimming, staying up late and being bored it was time to take them down to Bakersfield to be picked up by Grandpa Richard. 

Not having kids around for years (13,12,9,9) it really was tiring, I slept in a tent in the backyard, watched them swim, swam with them, took them to a park, heard them fight and took them to the store / Mcdonalds. 

I checked into renting a car but due to the pandemic, most cars were rented. I checked on Turo (app that allows people to rent out their car) and could never find a car that sat 6 people, and didn't cap the miles at around 200 to 300 miles. Most would wham you for .30 cents a mile over 300. A rental would be around $100 and add $60 plus whatever else you would have to pay. 

So in the civic we went at 10am, I had to ask my son in law (who I think dreamed up this vacation for his kids) for his fathers phone number when he was here dropping the kids off and when he went back to Washington, during the week the kids were here. 

Not quite sure how we were going to make the exchange happen. Magic?  Finally my daughter responds and I formulate a text. I suggested meeting at a restaurant. Gave a time (4 hours) and some room for stops and traffic.

His drive was 2 hours from Lancaster over the grapevine. As we were driving minor fighting between the twins ensued, /quelled by Angie and RJ. RJ in the front seat was busy with his phone as most 12 years olds tend to be these days. 

I was going to stop in Fresno for something to eat as it was 12, but decided to see if the kids would chime in with needing to go to the bathroom or hunger. Just past the main part of Fresno someone said they were hungry. Needing gas, I pulled off at a gas station / food mart. While pumping gas, a strange man pulls up and flashes a gold watch (I could not tell what it was) and asks for help. Sorry dude, no money (not really sorry, just want him gone). 

We go in, the kids get slushies, takkis, beef jerky, I get a chicken salad sandwich (yuck). Landon hits the bathroom and we are off. 

There is allot of construction going on and we are down to two lanes when we reach Bakersfield. A semi truck stalls in the left lane congesting traffic. We are 2 exits away from Brundage lane. Grandpa Richard calls Angie and she tells him we are close.  I get off on Brundage lane locate the restaurant on the left side and pull into the parking lot, which is pretty full. Grandpa Richard has parking on the street across from the restaurant. He gets out waves and then pulls his truck behind the civic. When we had gotten out, it was so hot and humid in Bakersfield, about 10 times worse than here. The kids pull out their luggage and it gets stowed in the truck bed. Hugs around and they are gone. I have to pee and need coffee, so I plug in Starbucks and I am directed to Ming road (sounds familiar). It is, we have been here before from some long ago soccer tourney and I remember. The Starbucks is in the mall. People just walk right in front of the car when I am driving to find a parking spot. The vibe in this town is one of irritated hot people. Starbucks is crowded and I walk the mall to find the bathroom. The mall is poorly air conditioned and people mill about blocking my passage further angering me. After, I go back to Starbucks wait in line, order a cheese sandwich and Large Flat white. 

Jumping back in, I press go home on Garman, and proceed home. I try to maintain 74 miles per hour, I am trying to get into a flow, but everyone is zipping in and out of traffic and suddenly smashing their breaks and then going again. I constantly have to disengage cruise control and flow does not come. Somewhere before Madera, a loud balloon pop shatters the monotony. I think someone shot at me, no windows were blown out, blood is not leaking out of me. I use the mirrors to scan the car while driving but can find no holes. The wheels on the car go round and round and no lights are on in the car.  Freaked, I continue to drive for eternity and drain the car down to 3 fuel bars when I finally park in my garage. I look the car over top to bottom and cannot find anything. 

The 8 hours of driving have left my left knee sore, due to the angle of the sitting. 

I start wondering about all the driving everyone else has had to do, Daughter and Son in Law 700 here 700 back , rinse and repeat to pickup the kids (1400) me 540 miles, Grandpa Rich 184 miles, Grandma Christina 772

2936 total miles, Elk Grove to New York NY is 2829. Basically a trip across America. 

I poised the question of all this driving to my dear wife, she said, oh the twins are not vaccinated , I counter with, but they are going to Disneyland amongst the hoards how different will that be from a plane ride?

Daddy Issues

My dad was sick for a long time. He had Parkinsons, it was diagnosed after retirement. He did not shake or have the normal signs of it. According to him, he had a different gait, shoulders hurt and he started hallucinating.

I realized that I had the most time with him while he was in the nursing home. But I wander, back to the subject. 

He started writing little stories about people in his past, people who made it to the "cameos" were people who paid attention to him. 

He paid little attention to his grand kids but again I wander. 

I remember asking him about his brother and why there was no story about his brother, a painful memory he did write about. 

Most importantly on one of the stories he was reluctant to release, afraid that the person or their relatives would be alive and somehow read the piece of paper existing in California, most are probably in New York or dead or in a home. 

What struck me as odd was here is a man who had no problem not having any relationship with his grandkids, great grandkids and minimal relations with his kids, but was afraid of hurting the feelings of some distant relative.

I was going to come to some great point but it escaped me utterly.

My parents divorced after 25 years of marriage, my dad had no real explanation as to why they divorced. He did hook up with one of my class mates from elementary school. 

My guess is, he became bored with his life, and was searching for something to make him feel alive. I cannot speak for my mom, was she happy with this life? 

My dad at one point wanted to move to Illinois. My mom vetoed this. Perhaps my dad was testing the waters, making his case / story as people do. Finally the affair, to perhaps force the issue, maybe other things were done to solidify his case .

Eventually my case mate did the right thing and dumped my dad. Did he reach out and try to connect with his kids, see how they were doing and help them out? Not really. He helped me once in putting a sprinkler system in my first house and gave me $5000 for a down payment. Was there a sparkle in his eye when he saw his grand kids, did he run over to pick them up and hug them? That just wasn't my dad. 

He traveled to the Czech republic to teach, and down to Honduras (no reason given). I realize now that these trips had to do with him trying to find a spouse. There might have been more trips, but communication was normally non-existent.

I do remember him onetime saying he had achieved a level of success that he felt his children would never reach (I was going to the community college he taught at and was outside his office). 

I guess he was measuring himself by the American capitalist standard of material wealth and employment status. 

To me now at my age, it reeks of buffoonery, how the hell would you know what you children will become, who bets against them, who says your measures are right or valid?

I realize now as I struggled thru life, the thing I needed most from my dad wasn't money, or cars or material things, yes they are great and can make life easier. What I needed the most was guidance a counselor or to keep it Italian , a consigliere. 

It could have been for the simplist things in life. Dad how do I muddle thru? Dad when do I say enough is enough? Wait actually those are deep, how about Dad did you feel fuzzy headed in your 30's, did the grind of life and the feeling that the same thing is happening just with different faces? 

I like to take my experiences and view them as things I can grow from and to make sure I don't make the same mistakes.

 

 

 7/11/2021

Its been hot, 105 friday 110 Saturday and 107 ish today. I got up at 5 made coffee did my stretches and got my 15 lb back pack and put on my old dress shirt that is 60 cotton 40 poly new hiking shirt and buff, trekking polls, gum to get that coffee funk taste out of my mouth and out the front. 

My goal is to get that old soccer back pack to 20lbs to replicate a frameless pack. Of course the sweat concentrates in the small of my back and since its so hot, my shirt gets soaked and my tidy whites. 

Here is the fox I saw from 2 days ago, I saw her again today. It just stares at me as I walk by talking to myself. I see allot of tracks in the mud racoons and the smaller prints must be the foxes, not sure about cat prints.  

Today I crossed under the bridge on Elk Grove Florin and kept walking. It was a new explore. It parallels Elk Grove Florin for about a block and makes a left turn. 

As I was climbing the steep levee bank I came down on something and slightly turned my left knee. Its fine shortly after. 

I also have been experiencing this phenom, your walking along and one foot (normally my right) steps on a stick or branch. This sometimes raises it up, the  trailing left foot then hooks under it and depending on the motion can trip you or fling and trip you at the same time. At first I thought what a rare occurrence but it happens too often to be happenstance.

Hike has me on EG creek and then I plunge into the bush and walk straight down the creek with dry beds fuming up on both sides. Its pretty soft and you just have to watch out for concrete blocks and stones and rabbit poop or leftover sheep shit. It widens out near the office buildings and then another deeper channel until you get to rock hard concrete by the bridge. Its like they were building the bridge and poured out a bunch of concrete and left it that way.  Past the bridge and by Leatherbys it again widens. There is bit of another bush wack as you approach the Laguna bridge. I has three chutes left right and middle. The chute closet to home depot is occupied by a homeless dude. It was easier to remember for me, hear home depot don't go. 

Thru that and you can follow the creek bed again and bail before it ends in a drying up mini lake. The trail then takes a winding left on a pretty nice dirt trail. 

From there by Zender park it opens up to a big area and walking on left side keeps you in shade. Finally you reach some berms and swales (depressions). There is also allot of tall grass before you get close to the third bridge under Lewis Stein. 

Here I like to take a piss and my body has quickly become used to this. After that its out on a really green soft creek bed which winds around a bit, there are some animal bones that the coyote must have eaten. 

There was a resident coyote that would follow me and bark at me. The fox did something similar, except no barking.